BOOK REVIEW: Dale Carnegie Update
I dusted off the classic Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People” last year and as always, it holds up. However, when it comes to communicating with others there are SO MANY differences than when this book first hit bookstores.
Thankfully there is the update: How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age. The chapter that I zeroed in on was Discuss What Matters to Them. The underlying thesis is that you must discuss what matters to others, not just what matters to you to build a relationship. However …”the spirit in which the vast majority of people communicate today. Most messages are primarily meant to educate others about our lives, or our products...While this appears to be an assertive strategy, it is actually a passive strategy in that it requires others to connect with us.”
Carnegie’s team references our current propensity for “marketing monologue” not “relational dialogue” which has now become the norm. However it goes on to say you are ultimately building a community when you initiate interactions with what matters to others.
Over time I have found community to be the most valuable of group relationships embodying trust and value. However, I think back to meetings, coffee dates and other times where I (and my friends) are all stuck on marketing monologue in one form or another.
Are you able to build a community of trust and value focusing on others rather than yourself? Let’s find out! Contact me for a quick evaluation of your ability to Win Friends and Influence People. The premise never gets old!